The Power of Words


     I have been asked to write about an incident from childhood that influenced my life. I have two that I

remember vividly and that still impact my thoughts, decisions and choices. The first account happened

when I was 6 years old. We had family visiting and most of us were in the kitchen, the adults cooking and

visiting. My dad wanted to show off that I could tell time (this was with the old fashioned oven clock) when

he stopped me walking past him and ask me to tell him the time. I was caught off guard and nervous and

read the time wrong. My father yelled at me calling me stupid and made the comment that I couldn't possibly

be his (he was a wiz at math and numbers). I remember being hurt, embarrassed and just plain mortified! I am

56 years old and still have the same physical reaction when I recall the event. My second event occurred

when I was 19 and had just received my first semester grades for college. My father wouldn't help with

collage because he saw no need for a girl to have an education so I worked, saved and took care of getting

 my education on my own. When I announced that I had earned all A's (I really felt I had shown him) his

comment (while looking another direction) was "Anyone can get A's in home-ec." I completed earning my

A.S. without another word to anyone. I was 48 years old when my husband (at the time) lost his temper,

tried to break my neck and left me for dead. He had followed my father's reasoning that there was no need

for me to go to school or feel that I had worth outside of the home. With my children's encouragement

I got a divorce and took myself back to college. I graduated with a second A.S. at the age of 50 and have

continued with my education. I completed my B.S. just this last June and am currently just starting on my

Masters. It took me almost loosing my life literally, before I was able to stand up and see that I had

worth. I had always been an unmovable advocate for infants and children but unable to fight for myself.

I realized that my children had reached an age where they didn't need me to protect them from the world as

much as they needed me to set an example of what they should not take as an adult. Please don't think me

a weak individual, it was much more than two comments from my father that culminated it my low self-

esteem. My example is that these two particular times are still embedded in my memory. Adults need to

know the impact they have on young children with lasting results. Whether intentional or not the effects and

"deficits are lifelong." (Berger, 2012).

     I took some time and read about the AIDS epidemic that has been going on South Africa and it's affects

on the children. As of 2007, "AIDES disease has killed 2.3 million in South Africa leaving roughly 1 million

children without one or both of their parents." (Moore, 2013). This article goes on to explain how most of

the children are being taken care of by other surviving relatives, but that in itself brings in a whole other level

of stress. The article talks about one women that they followed that was raising not only her own children

but those of both of her sisters and a cousin who had all passed from AIDS. The most common

repercussions for these children have been depression, truancy, sexual vulnerability, hunger and abuse."

(Moore, 2013). It appears the country have been so busy and focused on getting the epidemic of the disease

 under control that they have not been able to address the fall out ramifications on the children. Clearly what

is initially being done to lower the risk of harm to the children is getting the epidemic under control, however

the life long and generational repercussions of this event are huge.

Berger, K.S., (2012), The Developing Person Through Childhood (6th, Edition), New York, NY:

     Worth Publishers.

Moore, J., (2013). AIDS: How South Africa is Beating the Epidemic, Retrieved from: 

     www.csmonitor.com/layout/set/print/worldafrica/2013/0623/AIDS-How-South-Africa-is-beating-

     the-epidemic

Jennifer Pore`